Off To The Races – Lana Del Rey

This song is so dripping with flirty, dirty coquettish sexuality I actually feel a bit of a cad just listening to it. If my Good Lady Wife walks in on me listening to Lana Del Ray I feel like Chevy Chase getting caught leering at the girl in the red sports car in the National Lampoon movies.

As far as overtly sexualised pop goes I tend to regard the girls who perform it as stroppy teenagers doing anything to shock. It usually all seems very immature and unsexy. Like a coke advert or a topless calendar in an MOT garage. It’s not aimed at a music snob like me and I get that.

Lana Del Ray however makes records that sound like they’re recorded by a real home wrecker. The sort of button pushing Vegas showgirl schtick that sensible men with loving relationships lose their mortgages on in a night of weakness. It’s a real art form making music this saucy. This is up there with Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsborough.

The hypnotic intro of ambient voices and Lana describing her ‘Old Man’ as a ‘Good man’ who loves her ‘with every beat of his cocaine heart’ spells trouble from the off. He’s done time, he’s a dangerous fellow. But you keep listening. Lush strings and break beats sit you down and give you a special dance.

The verses are a list of feminine wiles and fetishized womanhood. She’s playing with the male ego ‘Watch me in the swimming pool’, ‘I need you to come here and save me’, ‘I’m your little scarlet Starlet’, ‘Be a good Baby do what I want’. All sung in a ‘ikkle girlie voice that should send any man who knows what’s good for him running home to his Wife’s loving arms.

You can’t blame the song or it’s singer for what’s about to go wrong for you. She’s laid it bare. ‘My old man is, a tough man, But he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam, And he shows me, he knows me every inch of my tar black soul’.

When you’re left broke and alone miles from home with nothing but regret and a sick feeling in your stomach, don’t say you weren’t warned.

Naughty!

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