Steal Away The Night – Ozzy Osbourne

Everybody loves Ozzy, right? He’s the cuddly rock and roll casualty who invented heavy metal with his buddies in 1960’s Birmingham before going on a 50 year bender and marrying into a reality TV show empire. Or something.

Ozzy as an artist can get overlooked. Sure he’s made some ropey rock records. That reworking of Changes with the ‘I love you Daddy’ bit… Erm sorry. We’re not supposed to talk about that.

But here’s a controversial opinion on the Double O. You ready?

Ozzy Osbourne made the best heavy metal record of the whole 1980’s.

Yeah! How do like them apples? I said it. In the whole decade of metal (lets face it, metal is very 80’s even the stuff recorded in the 70’s).

It’s important I clarify this statement (actually it isn’t important in the slightest), Blizzard Of Ozz is the most Eighties Metal album that doesn’t suck in anyway.

I know you can say Appetite For Destruction, Defenders of the Faith, Back In Black, The Real Thing, Live After Death, Master Of Puppets and Heaven And Hell all came out in the 80’s. And none of those have the sub Lennon bollocks of Revelation (Mother Earth) on them but I will Top Trump those records with Randy Rhodes, The Intro to Crazy Train, the whole of I Don’t Know, The photo on the sleeve of Ozzy rolling about with a crucifix, the legendary Mr Crowley, the PMRC baiting Suicide Solution and the greatest album closer party anthem of the decade.

Steal Away The Night is made for driving really long boxy cars at night with the windows down along long highways on your way to a party with a girl you made on your computer while wearing Miami vice suits, hi tops and a mullet. It’s designed to seek pirate treasure on a BMX while it blares through the orange foam ear pieces of your Sony Walkman and you try to cop off with a girl in leg warmers and hoop earrings. You can dance around your welding kit in a leotard to this song or wax on wax off on a cliff top.

Steal Away The Night is like being one of The Lost Boys riding a Sinclair C5 through those mines in Temple Of Doom.

Get on it.

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