Same Jeans – The View

Fuckin’ lightweights. Some infant parping on about how rock and roll he is because he hasn’t done his laundry. This is the nadir. I mean it’s really catchy but…

The death knell for real rock and roll wasn’t Bruce Dickinson bellowing so loud his voice became a scion scream nor was it the return of Jimi Hendrix from the heavens to begin the rapture for the chosen ones (that’d be people who still listened to Jimi Hendrix). It was a jangly little ditty the milkman could hum. Sung by a cherub faced indie kid who looked about 13.

You’ve had the Same Jeans on for 3 days now? Those are your credentials for ‘Avin’ it?

Oasis frontman Liam G’s dreams were made while he was ‘chained to the mirror and the razor blade’. Aerosmith literally named their albums after their poison of choice from Draw The Line to Rocks to being Done With Mirrors.

Mötorhead predicted they’d be Killed By Death. And it was the only thing that could finish them off. Dave Grohl went from Nirvana to Foo Fighters, to being Satan in Tenacious D to Them Crooked Vultures, to Sound City, to QOTSA to directing movies while falling off of stages breaking legs and finishing shows on the same night.

Alice Cooper killed himself on stage every night. Keef Richards falls out of palm trees, Damon Albarn is in 30 bands at a time, Florence headlines Glastonbury, Marylin Manson gets rumours about missing ribs, Tom Waits makes bonkers junkyard blues, Lady Gaga wears meat and eats homophobia AND YET… This kid has a skiffle ditty about breaking his Levi’s in.

Shit Homes! I go seven days before I think about washing another pair.

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