This Sandal Shit Has Got To Stop – The Queers

Wikipedia will tell you The Queers played a Ramones derivative strain of punk rock. SteveForTheDeaf will tell you they held the line on an important footwear issue. You have to draw a hard line on shoe crimes. I’m not some terrible old stick in the mud with no idea of how to move forward in these modern times… But there are some things we cannot allow to go uncorrected for the good of the very moral fiber of our civilization.

The Queers held the line for rock and rolls feet. They drew that line in the wet sand in 1997. We ignored them. I say “we”, I mean you people. I’m only ever seen in DM’s, converse or occasionally a brogue. They’d seen the mid-90’s creep of surfer dude sandals into a punk look and like some Cassandra style gifted visionaries knew we were in trouble. To The Queers it was clear this would lead to Greta Van Fleet being considered a serious extension of Led Zeppelin’s legacy.

unacceptable Unacceptable

They could clearly see some grown arse man walking through a rain soaked UK city center in winter with fucking sliders on his feet without an ounce of shame.  For our own good, they had to speak up. They don’t mention Crocks or Uggs in the lyrics, but I think we can all agree it’s implied in the bass line.

unacceptable Totally unacceptable

The Queers had recorded the Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand of songs in the battle of rock and roll footwear. Shots were fired. Turns out I’ve been living in a village outside of Verdun ever since, while people are cutting about in Yeezy’s that look like you’ve got 20 ounces of ocean plastic caught in your treads.

The strata of acceptable footwear for guys starts with trainers and goes all the way up to cowboy boots depending where on the (universal standard) scale of Average Joe to Lemmy you position yourself. Of course on these ground rules I’m only talking to the fella’s here (Or those who identify as such). If you’re of a more fabulous bent, go be fabulous. I’m assuring one and all that fabulousness and sliders never overlap in a way that can oppress anyone’s identity or the politics of such.

I take no issue with a chap in heels (or in chaps for that matter). But sandals, in winter over socks, in Northampton? Grow up Man. Dress like an adult. Crocks belong in operating theaters and on the feet of old women selling stuff at car boot sales. Uggs are for teenage girls to communicate the coming of autumn to Baristas in urban areas.

It’s scientifically proven if a guy wears sandals he can’t hear Joe Strummer’s high notes. It’s a medical phenomenon don’t @ me. The Queers knew this. I know this. Deep down in the core of your very being you know this too. Don’t fight the fabric of the universe and the space time continuum. Too many rock and rollers in shoe crime foot wear could invert the polarity of the SteveForTheDeaf time paradox. Who know’s where this post might end up? Like Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar I could end up screaming at you through the gaps in your bookshelves.

Can you hear me? Can you hear The Queers?

This Sandal Shit Has GOT to Stop!

6 thoughts on “This Sandal Shit Has Got To Stop – The Queers

  1. Throughout most of the 1980s, I wore Native American moccasin boots. Trendies called me ‘weird’ and many metalheads weren’t sure what to think. Great post and 3 cheers for The Queers for highlighting foot fashion.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I only wear sandals in the gym shower that no one ever sees! I can only echo the outcry here. But the shoecrime in this horrible century covers the horizon far and wide! Was not aware of The Queers song even though I enjoyed their set with The Dickies back in ’18.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I laughed out loud reading this. Favorite part: “The strata of acceptable footwear for guys starts with trainers and goes all the way up to cowboy boots depending where on the (universal standard) scale of Average Joe to Lemmy you position yourself.” I have nothing against sandals — without socks — and if one has nice feet. If one’s feet are ugly, fuggetabotit. It’s the same principal as the midriff. If you have a flat one that’s tanned, with or without hair (for guys) please show it, but if it’s a muffin top or Homer Simpson, keep it covered. That goes for the ladies too. Welcome back, Steve.

    Liked by 1 person

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